JENGA!

Why is it that some tables feel the need to hand you more plates or even go so far as to try to stack more plates onto the ones you are already carrying, I'm not a damn act in the circus, STOP IT! I have a table where I'm clearing plates and an oyster tray from (they are quite big) and this jack ass feels the need to see how many more plates he can stack on top of everything I'm holding; hey buddy, I still have to walk with these in my arms please stop! Or even better the table next to them felt the need to hand things to me when my hands are full, hey hold on my extra arm hidden under this shirt of mine will be glad to take that off your hands, as both my other hands are full of menus and a tray of drinks, sure why not, that's why I work in this environment, it's for the extra hand! Please if you ever feel the urge to hand over some plates, set them down and don't try to stack them in my arms, or if you've never served, just don't even try to stack them on the table because this ain't Jenga! Oh but i'm sure they will be the first to applaud me if I happen to drop just about everything and make a scene, I know you are, don't deny it! Look I know how to do my job, don't come in and try to assist me, because 9 times out of 10 you've never worked in a restaurant environment and have no idea how to handle or stack plates, these things are not Segways, they will fall over and unlike the paper plates you put your food on, these are ceramic and they will break and hurt a bit!

Does it really matter what I say?

Ok this one takes the cake tonight. Now remember I work in Orange County, CA. and from time to time we run into the guest who believes he or she is on the show The Real Housewives of Orange County, and feels the need to be a dumb housewife. So as I go to greet a table and offer to get drinks for everyone I come to the "housewife" and her response to me is to paint at me as if I'm supposed to say something on queue and then stare at me as if bees were coming out of my ears! She then proceeds to tell me to just say any drink, so of course I start with martinis and she tells me she's not in the mood for martinis but wants a girly drink. WTF! Really, why ask me for drinks if the ones I suggest don't fit into this magical category which you seem to have designed and set stipulations on? So without any avail, I fail to suggest an adequate beverage, which then she tells me I'm of no help! Well if I'm of no help, have a good time getting your own damn drinks! Hell I'm not you husband who you seem to be able to boss around, and no, for the last time, I can't read your damn mind! Is it really that hard to order a drink, heck if you don't like it, just order something else, or perhaps, if you need more time, ask me to return with the other drinks and by then you should think of your drink! Now, stop bugging me, I have to think of food here on the menu you might want to eat, because I know where this slippery slope goes!