Bivalves are confusing

Ah good old people who have no idea how to order or let alone answer a question with new words and not just repeat the same damn question I just didn't understand! So I have a table with a fairly large retirement party, so after we let them give 15 different speeches for the last, oh maybe hour and a half, they decided that maybe they should order food, because now they are ready, because apparently you come to a restaurant to waste time and then when you've been at the table long enough, now you tell your servers that you are ready and perhaps we should take your order. Well the orders are quite easy, most people just repeating the same order as the previous person, then I get to the "genius," remember it's in parentheses so it's probably just a title I gave him, he orders his fish, but then wants to add an order of oysters as follows, "I would also like to get a half order of oysters." Well they aren't in a particular order, just priced per half dozen, so I ask "How many do you want to get exactly, a half dozen order or a half order of the half dozen price?" Followed with the answer "I just want to get a half order." Really, so did you not hear my question, because you aren't making it any clearer by repeating it! So I explain how the oysters are ordered in different quantities and I just want to know exactly how many he wants, his reply "Well I want a sample." Me, "So would you like a half dozen, nine or dozen sampler?" "I just want a sample of some of your oysters." "Well I would suggest a half dozen sampler because you will get one of each of the oysters with the star, which just leaves out one oyster." Finally this is the answer I get, "You know I really don't even want oysters." WTF! Seriously! You aren't making any sense, nor are you answering my question and now you are just giving up and thinking I'm the dick! Thanks! Oh, then he later goes to the bar and has the same trouble ordering oysters there, but somehow still comes out with oysters, thanks douche, I'll remember that when I'm licking the rim of you beer glass (not really).